I also think I hate crushing because…

… I’m a very careful person when it comes to relationships and feelings for people or I try to be careful, at least. I tend to be overly analytical with people so I’ll plan out what to NEVER say and try to be rational. However, what bugs me is that this one dude disrupts that. I barely have even talked to him … UGH.

I keep feeling like I’m planning our wedding before I get to know him. I’m just ruled out by irrational emotions instead of the logic I try to uphold the moment I realize I like someone. I always ask questions myself like:

How much do I know about the person? Is that person a jerk in anyway?

Do I want friendship? Will my crushing feelings want me to not be friends with this person?

Does this person seem comfortable/not irritated by my presence?

Does this person talk to me first or am I the one who always has to make the effort?

Does it even make sense letting this person know about my feelings since I do not want a romantic relationship?

Etc.

But he makes me throw those questions out the window. I hate that. I hate him. I barely know him. Whyyyy??? I get so freaking girly and crushy and I just… Don’t know him well! WHY?